Once upon a time, in the land of Running Very Late - on the planet of Alarm Didn't Go Off, Princess Amanda was in a BIG hurry to get to work. The Mayor had an eye exam that morning and of course, Amanda was supposed to open the office that day.
In a mega-super-big hurry (without her hair done or her face on) she grabbed her purse and locked the door, and ran to her car (praying that the traffic gods were in her favor that morning).
She got to her car and realized her keys were not in her hand. For reals. The clicky-button unlocker thingy was nowhere to be found!
She threw her brand new purse on the ground and began to rummage through it looking for those GOD DAMNED KEYS!
She said (ok screamed) a few choice words, and ran back to her apartment, I MEAN CASTLE!!! This was so unlike her to throw a temper tantrum!
Naturally, the door was locked, as were all the windows... all fucking four of them.
So in a non-thought processing, already stressful morning - Princess Amanda knew there was only one thing left to do...
She backed up a step (because that IS ALL the room there is in front of her door - she cant afford a very BIG castle, you know...) and with one really hard Tae-Bo kick (maybe two I don't really remember - nor do I care) she huffed, and she puffed, and she KICKED that damn door in!
Princess Amanda grabbed her keys and sped safely to work.
When she got to work - she found that the Mayor was late for his appointment anyways... Which is a WHOLE 'NOTHER STORY.
So all day long Amanda stewed and pondered and thought and brainstormed about what story to make up to tell her landlord about the broken door... Break in? No... Nothing was stolen.
A friends' kid locked us out and there was a baby in there!? No... thats neglect.
I was baking a cake and locked myself out when I went to take the garbage out? Nope. No one is that stupid.
So at the end of the day some little Christ-like voice inside her told her to tell the truth... maybe it wouldnt be that bad...
Wrong. $70 dollars later... Always ALWAYS lie.
And I have two words for you people... Anger Management with a side car of Klonopin.
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Amanda, you've missed your calling...you need to write fairy tales...
of course, if you want PARENTS to buy them for their CHILDREN, you'll have to change a few aspects of the story.
But who knows, maybe selling books will pay for your broken door adventures?
Or at least DAD (the little christ-like voice in her head) can help her pay for it, till she gets enough money to pay him back! It is ALWAYS ALWAYS best to tell the truth, that way you don't have to remember WHO you lied to and WHAT story you made up...THE END!
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