Bedknobs and Broomsticks... and Raspberry Vodka

I really do hate Halloween. Its a lame excuse for a holiday.
I think even as a child I wasn't that enthused by it... wandering around in the dark for hours
"MY FEET HURT" and "I'M TIRED AND COLD" are complaints that come to my mind when I think of trick-or-treating. Not to mention how pessimistically I wandered around the neighborhood needing only to fill my pillowcase half-empty. It didn't matter. I would just trade all my shitty candy for the good stuff from my brother and sisters. That is always a bonus to being the oldest.... they have earlier bedtimes! Swap that when their sleeping! AHA! THAT'S using your noodle.

I don't hate Halloween like I hate other things...

Like when parents let their kids go nine days without a bath. And then they stink up the entire public space they happen to drag them to... barefoot.
I've been told staples and nails work well for keeping shoes on.
Or. OR When they let them run amok 'without noticing' as if they are seriously sitting there with their arms folded thinking about which chore they desire to do next when they arrive home. pblt!
Who knows - maybe when I'm a mom and I am so chuck full of anti-depressants to notice that my kids are filling water cups with sugar, water and coffee creamer and eating it with a spoon I will react differently.

I have never had plans for Halloween. I have usually gone to my moms to watch a movie and/or be forced to had out candy.
This year I have had so many invites to do things I am beside myself! I don't even know what to wear!
I could always pull out my 'Plus Size Hooters Girl' get-up...
Or I was even thinking of going to DI to get the prettiest dress I can find and carry around a card table with an absolutely fantastic doily-looking table cloth with a couple pictures and statues of Jesus and some hand outs, and PROPS! Lots of props and visual aides!! And be the Relief Society President.
But I don't think I can find all that stuff in time for Friday.
Plus - I have misplaced my control top pantie-hos.

Dont You Worry.

I am so glad that yesterday was a short-lived boob fest. I HATE being in a shitty mood.

So I got home last night and got right in bed...

It was about the time I was laying there deciding whether I should eat a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough, or oatmeal raisin cookie dough...

I quickly jumped out of that horrible thinking pattern and decided to peel myself out of bed and go shopping. I don't know what for, but I need to find something.

Despite the incredible urge to emotionally binge on anything sweet, I didn't...And I am so glad I endured going to 3 different stores, because by god, I desperately needed to have this sweet retail therapy time-AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

New Purses totally cure the blues.

... And shoes. Shoes do too. But I didnt get any this time...

I bet ya'll missed me huh. :) RIGHT...
Well this is about as far as it goes with my love for the stupid holiday coming up. Gardner Village's Witch festival. Darling! So cute! Take a handful of anxiety meds with you! There are so many people there and it's fun to LOOK at the stuff in the shops... its a window shopping experience. I cant even begin to tell you how many cute purses I needed, but lacked the $75 it took to walk out the door with it - without going to jail.

Some cute baby dressed up...

CUPCAKES!!! Am I not a damn creative genius!? And what I love even more is that I have no desire to eat them... Just decorate them :)

Everything happens for a reason.

I have now found out the reason I was so inclined to suck it up - when it came to the little fiasco with my door... As much as I wanted to be as rude as I could and kick and scream and fight how terrible the manager was to me, I decided to just let it go and not 'sink to her level'.
Something inside me even told me that it would be best to apologize and be as sweet as pie when I saw her just to avoid any unwanted conflict with this miserable creature.

I came home to a note on my door last night that read: " We regret to inform you, with much shock and sorrow that Chris (the office manager) passed away Monday evening in her home. She will be incredibly missed"

Man. That is AWFUL! That is exactly why I didn't have the heart to be mean to her even though she was the most retched, miserable woman I have ever met in my entire life.
Every once in a while we get these intuitive feelings, or thoughts about someone, or a situation that should be handled a certain way, and I am such a believer on acting on them.
Every time you think about someone out of the blue, like "I wonder how they are" or "I need to call her and say hi" DO IT DO IT DO IT!! Act on that!

The night before my Gramma Joyce passed away there was a family dinner that I was simply to lazy to go to for one reason or another - and it hurts my heart to think that was my prime opportunity to spend time with her before she left us, and that I dont remember the last time I talked to her - it was probably something really simple and/or in passing at the office where she 'regulated' :) But I definately never thought whatever it was we said would be the last words exchanged.
Life is so precious and you never know what is going to happen in the blink of an eye.

T E R R I F I E D

Ok I lied. I know that I said I didn't care HERE and HERE, But the real truth is..

I AM FUCKING TERRIFIED!!! OK? THERE I SAID IT!

This is the first presidential election I have been old enough to even realize whats going on or partially understand.

So I got my little card in the mail saying I'm registered and that I get the privilege of having a little 'six inch whisper' voice in WHO I think will drive our country onward and carry us out of this great depression.

That's horse shit. Because like I said before I DON'T WANT ANY PART in voting for the next moron to raise our taxes and let the government control health insurance.

And while people are bickering over whether it should be legal for people to marry the person they love - just because society cant fathom the thought of GAY SEX. Dude. LET IT GO! Its just love, man. They aren't asking to have sex on your dining table. They just want to be treated like human beings.

And don't EVEN get me started on abortion. I personally think it should be a choice. I cant even answer as to if I was in that position would I consider it... because I'm not. If I was raped by a relative or some random psycho? Its an option. But it would be MY option.

Why aren't we going after all the pedophiles and drug lords and illegal aliens?? huh? HUH!? Or murderers and REAL criminals.

And why are we bailing out multi bazillion dollar companies for being dumb asses who don't know how to budget? Have they never used Quicken? Lets take the dude who is embezzling and put his ass in the slammer. MAKE HIM SELL AT LEAST FOUR OF HIS CARS.

While as a single adult I am working my ass off and barely making ends meet, we've got people getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars TO DO NOTHING. And be really good at it. I want that job!

I cant afford food. I'm eating ice cubes for dinner tonight and they have 3 chefs - AND a restaurant in their homes. (I don't know who 'they' is... just work with me here.)

So do I vote for the dude who promises change but wants to raise taxes? Or the old guy who will die in office from severe old age and the lady WHO KNOWS NOTHING will take over.

I'm back to TERRIFIED. Your darn right! I don't know what to do.

YOU BETTCHA!

One For the Books

I allow myself to eat Macaroni and Cheese about once a year. Anything beyond that and I am ralphing my guts out due to fake cheese congestion.
Ok I lied. Not about puking, but about the once a year thing. This statement excludes restaurant Mac & Cheese that is super ooey gooey deliciously wonderful. Or the 10 for 10 deals on the microwave stuff at the grocery store.
So really, I should have said Kraft Mac & Cheese and/or Velveeta or any generic knock-offs.
I have this slight addiction to cheese food products. Disgusting I know, but I ask you, where would we be in the world without sliced cheese!?
Individually wrapped, perfectly shaped, cheesy goodness!
Or the kind that comes from a can! To eat with crackers! Or veggies! Oh LORDY!

So last night when I had my yearly craving for the cheesy Mac I was so excited to make it!
Its about 8:00, I'm a little tipsy... I'm fixin my M&C... It doesn't look quite right.
I remember it being like a freakin florescent orange color... not brown.
But I am STARVING. I haven't eaten in like, 5 hours. It tasted the same...
Oh yeah... EXP DEC 13 03

oops.

Freakin LOVE IT

So I was driving, when I decided to put everyones life in danger, including my own, to let ya'll know that THIS is what tickles my fancy. Snow capped mountains and the leaves starting to change.

Its the smell in the air...

Oh my hell

Crazy - Hi I need to make an appointment to see the Dr - but I need to know if you still take our insurance.

Me - Oh well of course, What is it?

C - Well I dont know.

M- Ok...Can you uh...find out?

C- Well dont you have it listed?

M - When you were last seen in 2004 you had ABCXYZ Ins. Do you still have that?

C- Ma'am I told you I dont know. Let me look in my purse to see if I can find any info.

(This is about where my blood started to boil)

5 MINUTES LATER...

Me - Could you find out through your HR dept and call me back to let me know?

Crazy - Well this will only take a second, your not that busy are you?

THIS IS MY YELLING VOICE

In an effort to collect recipes to make a cookbook, I have received absolutely no cooperation from my own family (excluding Nikki), and I am now turning to the random people who read my blog. (I sure hope there are more than 6 of you.)

I NEED YOUR RECIPES! PLEASE!

I am SO SERIOUS.

Dips, Soups, Appetizers, Breads, Sweets, Casseroles, Quick&Easy, Salads!

ANYTHING! I don't care! Please?

I'll even take a "Ooohhh... I once tried marinating my chicken in _______"

Any one can post. Even strangers. Even if you don't have a blogger ID - you can just leave a name!

When I have this bad boy compiled I would be more than happy to share it with whomever wants it. I plan on making copies :) It's gonna be GOOOD.

Like MmM MmM Good.